Play Big or Go Home!

For the last 21 years, I have been digging deep into the realm of 'change communication'. This includes persuasion, influence, negotiation, sales training, leadership, etc. I have reached a place where I can be picky with whom I work with and find myself very attracted to those customers wanting to ‘Play Big or Go Home!’

I am learning that this is a rare quality and the reason is, it’s not a very comfortable position, because it involves risk and upping the stakes. It’s not a world for everyone. What it is though is a world of integrity to you.

The misunderstanding made is that ‘Play Big or Go Home!’ is associated with X-Games, cage fighting, free climbing, etc. The thought is that it must be an extreme risk of all or nothing.

The reality is ‘Play Big or Go Home!’ is a state of mind about playing to win versus a focus on fear of losing or fear of change. It shows up in how someone plays golf or chess or poker as well as how they work with staff, finances, and customers.

The question to ask is ‘Are you willing to use all your insight, skill, and personality to create the necessary change?’ It’s less about doing the ‘right’ thing and more about doing your thing.

Maybe that’s the easiest way to describe what Adam Sandler brings to the screen. It’s about integrity to be yourself rather than what you think you should be to get by in the world.

The real benefit of mastery of a subject (meditation, golf, sales training) is to bring your unique contribution. The oxymoron of it is the group of individuals willing to jump in with you (work with you) will become smaller. That’s the work of mastery: Willing to stay on the path as others fade away from view. The prize is the state of being; the peace of having left your unique contribution to the world. Just understand the prize is time independent in this world.

The 'B' Word

I received the following from a professional from one of my programs:

I have been reading ‘Sell Little Red Hen Sell.’ I thought you would be interested to hear that I thought of your program last night as I was watching the Obama address to the nation. There were a number of key points addressed from the first 100 days, to the economy to Iraq. I have to say I did not take much away from the address with the exception of the amount of times Obama said ‘But’ throughout the course of his answers. Honestly I couldn’t concentrate on the content of his answers as I was too busy watching his body language and counting the ‘buts’. I have a long way to go before this word is eliminated from my vocabulary but I am progressing in monitoring responses to questions and comments on a daily basis. I thought it was funny the such an engaging public speaker, let alone someone with his power was negative without possibly even realizing.

This is a fantastic observation and this person is on the road to better communication because they are improving their level of listening. In my programs, I suggest that they completely remove the word 'but' from their vocabulary.

Here was my response:

Great job! Awareness (recognition) is a huge part of making the change.

Three items:

1. He's the CEO of the USA and CEO's have butitis, because they are there to see what is wrong and fix it. As you pointed out though, it's even more important for them to keep but out of their language.

2. Remember we talked about having the skills during times of 'stress'. This is the 'choke' factor.

If you go to youtube and see Obama's earlier speeches, he doesn't use but as much. The stress is piling up and he's over his stress line which is why he's using it more. He's falling back to 'poor' habits.

3. I make a point about getting but out of your vocabulary because it is such a nasty habit word and the best way to change is by getting rid of it completely (like being part of AA and never taking a drink).

The reality is, there are times that it can be used effectively and purposely. Use but whenever you wish to eliminate what you just said. An example Obama would use, as a democrat, is 'the republicans care about the country, but they are slowing down the progress'. In this case, the compliment is removed and the sentence actually implies the reverse.

Keep up the great work!!!!!!!

We all wish our country and our leaders success - maybe they'll see this and make a change to their language.

The Power of Your Front Line People

If you're mad at the airline you're flying, don't read this, because it will upset you more.

This blog is about the pleasant experience I'm having today because of technology, frequent flier status, and some very nice people.

I'm flying Continental out of Orange County (John Wayne Airport) to Houston and was upgraded to first automatically by their system because I'm a frequent flier with them. Very nice. Since I just got off an airplane back and forth from Wisconsin on a very crowded plane, this will be a nice change.

I'm waiting in American Airlines Admiral Club because they were kind enough to send me a free visit because I am a frequent flier with them also. Waiting here is a small surprise because the invitation expired 4 days ago, and I wasn't sure if they would accept it. American Airlines can be a bit rigid in their rules. It's not so much the frontline staff, it's a management team that sometimes forgets their in the customer service business.

I got a big welcome at the front desk and a big smile. Lorraine Gonzales-Gallagher then took the opportunity to ask me about my flights, my general traveling, and solicited me to join the club in a very pleasant and professional way. This is the behavior you want your frontline staff to exhibit.

I had planned to write this blog before I took the elevator up to the club. I'm very pleased to be writing this version of the incident: the incident of the very happy customer. Made even happier by the attentive service of Michelle McAndrew who was handling the refreshment bar and the substituting on the front desk also.

Speaking of frontline people, I need to thank the baggage handlers in Greenbay Wisconsin for not shipping my bag to Grand Rapids (GRR). You see, even though I arrived at John Wayne early for my flight to Greenbay, they had boarded the plane prior to the scheduled boarding time. This means that the new policy (a bad policy I believe) set by Arion Saatzoi, AA General Manager at the airport, where no wheelie bags are allowed after 130 passengers have boarded, are allowed on. When I went to board, they wanted my bag, I hate checking bags, and pack light just so I don't have to check bags. Scott Love, Customer Service Manager, who was handling check in, said the luggage bins were full. When I boarded, without my bag, it was easy to see the luggage bins were wide open. So I went back out to get my bag back. This is when I heard about the new policy, which took longer to explain than simply saying 'the bins were full'. What I didn't know at the time, was the handwriting on the bag check ticket showed destination GRR (is was really GBB, but the B's looked like R's). Anyway, when I landed in Green Bay, thanks to an extra effort by the bag handler to take an extra look and check the passenger manifest, they didn't put my bag on the plane going back out because it looked to be in the wrong place. This also means the guys in Chicago did some extra work also to make sure the bag was on my flight to Green Bay.

The point is the front line people always carry the brunt of stupid decisions by management, and yet they do it with a smile and courtesy even for the millionth passenger they've seen that day. To those on the frontline, thank you. The work you do is very much appreciated



When you're traveling lots of little things make a big difference.

What's wrong will selling by the 'Like' factor?

"In every sales training program, the first rule is you have to get the buyer to like you. I think that's wrong." This was a tweet comment by Scott Bywater http://www.copywritingthatsells.com.au/

I have to agree with Scott. The first rule is to have the buyer to TRUST you, and TRUST is not the same as LIKE. You can like someone without trusting them, and you can TRUST someone without LIKING them.

If you focus on earning TRUST, you will discover that you reach agreements faster and be less 'surprised' by decisions.

In the following situations, if you could only choose one, TRUST or LIKE, which is will lead to a more predictable result:

- a boss-employee relationship
- an employee-boss relationship
- a supplier relationship
- a personal relationship

Even with the last one, if trust isn't there, the 'liking' will soon go away.

Focus and then Re-Focus

Emotions play a big part in your abilities to persuade. Having the right attitude works to your favor.

People want to deal with confident, strong, purposeful individuals that they can trust.

If you're not confident, whether it is in the transaction, your personal situation, or the agreement, it does show and it will work against you and your intentions.

So focus on the transaction at hand, the skills that created this opportunity, and what you are trying to accomplish with the change requested. Remind yourself of these basics before each communication and during engagements to retain your confident, strong, purposeful emotional position.

The Most Important Truths

In times of trouble, the truth speeds recovery.

I’m not talking about gossip or truth to hurt.

I’m talking about truth to bind a relationship when times are difficult. I’m talking about acknowledgement of what is going on and planning understanding that these are uncertain times. Truth allows someone to move forward knowing what is going on. This is a good rule for government, business, sales, and each of us personally.

Truth is persuasive!

Here are some truths we need to hear.

- A large number of critical financial Intuitions are not cooperating at this time with the recovery either because of self-interest or a lack of understanding
- Much of the posturing and positioning in the media by organizations and individuals is self-serving and slowing down the recovery
- Mistakes are being made and they are slowing down the recovery also

Here are some other truths we need to hear:

- Making mistakes along the way is part of dealing with the unknown
- This too shall pass
- We may not like some of the changes
- Some will come out better than others
- Some will do more than others

The most important truths of all:

- Only you can control your actions and reactions to the current situation.
- The truth is you can do your very best if you want and that will be your contribution to the recovery and those you love.
- The truth is every moment of every day is your new opportunity.

I wish you well on your individual path of truth.

t

Serenity Prayer and Sales

Give me the strength to change what I can, accept what I cannot change, and know the difference...

This is key to sales success.

"There are many people that need your products and services that will never buy your products and services." - Jeffrey Hansler

If you can't separate these people out, you'll end up wasting a great deal of time.

Power Perspective on Lunch and Golf

They say you can learn alot about someone by playing a round of golf with them, and you'll know as much about them as a spouse after two rounds.

A rough economy does the same thing to many other activities. Christine Peters, a film producer, in an article in the New York Times (Feb 11, 2009 D1) talked about the shift from people fighting over the check to people walking out before lunch is over so that they don't have to pay.

Tells you alot about someone and their state of mind.

Question of the Day?

Questions gather information. Questions lead to discovery. Questions lead to answers. Questions create fear. Questions control. Questions create new possibilities.

Whatever else you may think about questions, they hold POWER.

What is your question of the day?